Tribute

Orville S. Nelson
1930-2008

As many of you know my father died at Stanford Hospital in February 2008. His memorial service was held in Salinas, California on March 1, 2008. I put together this little slideshow as a tribute to him and played it at his service. This slideshow is mainly for my immediate and extented family. But also, for those of you who didn't know him it will give you a little glimpse of the man who was so special to us. And who was so often described as a kind and sweet man.

Peace

My father was rushed from the Menlo Park VA facility to Stanford hospital. He had an infection in his lungs from which he would not recover. He held on long enough that my brother and two sisters were able to make it to his bedside. We were lucky that we had time to thank my father for everything he had done for us, how well he had provided for us and how much we loved him.

I can only remember once or twice that I saw my dad without his wedding band, but they had to take it off when he went into the emergency room.

According to a Japanese tradition, we turned my dad so his head pointed north and we placed a small white towel over his face. For some reason I did not take a photograph of this, I just could not lift the camera. I'm sorry now that I did not. He was at peace and beautiful after such a long and agonizing battle.

Cold

My dad is always cold now. When I take him out for a spin around the grounds at the Menlo Park facility, I have to bundle him up. First the t-shirt, then the sweater, coat, hat, then finally two blankets. He sleeps often and as I'm wheeling him around in his wheel chair I can't see if he's fallen asleep so I just keep talking. For those that know me this is pretty surprising as I'm not much of a talker. Well, take a lesson from my father, if you'll just be quiet, you'll hear the most amazing things.

Snap shots

Here we are in pictures...

Candide and Gizmo

Voltaire writes in Candide, "...dans le meilleur des mondes possibles...il faut cultiver notre jardin"

Gilberto Perez is from Ecuador. He lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico with his family. He tends to other people's gardens as he tends to his own.

And then there's Gizmo who has a glass-eye and lives in the ghost-town of Cerrillos.

Clarity

New Mexico

Here are a few more from New Mexico.

Toby's ears

From a recent trip down route 55A near Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Silver Lining

The silver lining to a disease like dementia is that we get to spend a lot of time with my dad and tell him how much we love him and to thank him for how well he's provided for us. This is my sister Liz during one of the visits where I brought my dad home from the VA facility in Menlo Park.

Typical

When my dad was first diagnosed with dementia he could still walk but he had fallen a couple of times. Then he needed a cane then a walker then I had to be next to him when he used his walker then a wheelchair. His legs just wouldn't go where he needed to put them. Once in the wheelchair I still tried to get him to lift his legs to get him to exercise a bit but eventually his muscles weakened. Because he could no longer exercise he started to gain some weight. I always pictured my dad as a slim and fit man but now the dementia has changed that too. One day I wheeled my dad out into the fresh air and the warm sun. His head fell back. I asked him to hold his head straight but he wouldn't or couldn't. So I lifted his head so he could look straight ahead. But slowly it tilted back. Later I asked the nurses and doctor about it, but by then he was back to normal. They said that was pretty typical.

Happy Anniversary

My mom shows her affection by taking care of us. I don't remember her as being terribly affectionate. As a matter of fact, even now hugging is a bit awkward, but she's extremely thorough in her care. And for the most part she's taken good care of my father for the 55 years that they've been married. My dad and I would sit at home or at the Menlo Park facility watching as my mom cleaned, did laundry or cooked and he often would say to me, "she's a good woman".

Vacation

I try to bring my father home as much as I can. I think he appreciates spending time in his own house. But twice in the last five years my sister rented a beach house in Santa Cruz and we were able to "vacation" there for a change of pace. It was really nice and we even celebrated a birthday for my sister. One of the benefits for me was both my sisters were there to help as my fathers mobility decreases.