Storm, Venice Beach

Portraits of my Father

My father always fancied himself a bit of a cowboy and he loved wearing western attire. I took this portrait of him a long time ago, way before digital and way before I thought it might be a good idea to be organized and keep track of things like the date. I love the grizzle and the bit of a playful smirk.




And this one I took of him in 2005, dementia was already taking it's toll on him and our family. I still like this one of him in his beret. I think it shows his sweet and trusting nature.

Walker

Here are a few more of my father when he was still able to walk just using the walker.

Grip

My dad grew up on a farm and because of that he always had a strong grip, all those cows to be milked and the pigs to be fed. When I was a boy we would wrestle…he would say “wrassle”. And he would grab me with this inescapable grip and would pin me to the floor. Sometime at the beginning of my high school years I was finally able to shoot for his legs and lift him off his feet. We never “wrassled” again. But he never lost his grip, even as he loses his motor skills his grip is as strong as I remember it. When I feel him grabbing onto my arm I feel he’s grasping for the things he knows, not wanting to let go.

More from the Arroyo Seco

Back to the River

The Arroyo Seco is one of many tributaries that feed the Los Angeles River and is close to my home in Pasadena. The beautiful Colorado Blvd. Bridge (sometimes known as Suicide Bridge) spans the river. There are several side streams and the vegetation is lush all-year long.

My Dad

For the last few years my dad and my family have been battling the awful disease, dementia. It’s hard to even pinpoint when it may have started. So often it’s easy to just brush things off as being forgetful, clumsy or simply old age. But one day he fell off a ladder. Then as he was teaching a line dancing class he simply could not remember the steps. He progressively grew worse. Dementia is much like Alzheimer’s. My dad, so far, remembers me every time I walk in though he often forgets what he’s had for breakfast just a few minutes after eating. And slowly he is losing his motor skills.

I am not sure what I hope to accomplish by publishing these photographs and in many ways I feel uncomfortable about it. It’s hard enough for me to look at these pictures of my dad who I love so much. And sometimes it takes me months before I can review my photographs.

But this is part of my and my family’s life….






These pictures were taken a few years ago when my dad could still get around on his own with the aid of a walker.